I haven’t stitch in years, and when I left the Ex I was that depressed I nearly threw it all out. Yes I left him and I was depressed, there is a story here and maybe one day I will write about it, however it’s not a happy tale for the most part, apart from where I am now in my life and it makes for uneasy reading in parts. However back to where I started…
Since then I haven’t been able to stitch anything. I felt ashamed of what had gone off in the past. I had abruptly left the stitching community with no explanation I just left. I deleted Facebook , email accounts, my blog anything associated with stitching I just got rid off. I just cut all ties, and I am sorry for what I did. Now this isn’t a major thing you may think but it was for me. I loved my stitching friends had built up relationships with people but I couldn’t tell them what was happening at home. Stitching was in all intense purposes what was getting me through the bad times, but then he started to encroach on that too in ways I can not explain out loud without the fear and dread of what happened coming back to me. The feeling of dread in my stomach still appears even to this day two years later. I should have told someone and asked for help, they may have understood but I didn’t. Only three people know what happened and have said I did the right thing and I had to look after myself but even now I wish I had done things different. I am hoping that they will understand and know how very sorry I am, but I was in a very bad place and needed to escape fast before it was too late… anyway enough of this morbid talk. Life is on the up again!!!
This is why I have decided to give it a go again. Plus I have everything I need to start it up again, apart from the eyesight OH MY!!! How that has decreased in two years 😮
I have lots of old charts in progress, as yes I am a serial starter, however I wanted a fresh start. Nothing that I was working on before, so I chose a pattern I liked and think would go well with the colour scheme I have in mind for my bedroom. I wound all of the 49 colours ( boy am I slow at that!!)and decided that I need to get some better glasses for stitching with a great magnification even with my proper prescription glasses I think stitch in 25 count I will still struggle. ( I could use a bigger count but I am going to cheat and do half cross stitch so it will be quicker as I am so slow and if I make good progress maybe I wont want to start something else) Now to find somewhere I can print the chart in A3 😀
It wasn’t supposed to be a sombre post far from it… must try harder next time D- for effort.
Happy Friday everyone x